I
was reluctant to write this blog post but I have been encouraged to do
so by certain individuals because they find my reading of the Proclamation on the Family
(PoF) fascinating and original. So, I am taking the plunge and adding
this blog article to the current and ongoing discussion about equality
and gender roles within the LDS Church.
My
intent and hope in writing this post is not to provide a solution to
issues revolving around equality and gender roles in the Church. This
isn't meant to support the conservative or progressive view on these
issues. It isn't intended to increase tension among men, women and
Church leaders. This is only to get people to see this issue in a new
light (hopefully) and to open up a new avenue of discussion on these
matters. Finally, what I am about to share is NOT the official doctrine
of the LDS Church nor should it ever be taken as such. It is strictly
and absolutely MY opinion and reading of the Proclamation of the Family.
With
that being said, here's how I read the Proclamation on the Family. In
my eyes, the basic and simple point of the PoF is that men and women
don't have
any gender roles until they are married and have children. That's what I
believe the essential message of the Proclamation on the Family to be.
Let me walk you through how I came to that perspective on the Proclamation on the Family.
The Proclamation on the Family starts out with a statement that gender is eternal.
"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God.
Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as
such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential
characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
purpose.
In the premortal realm, spirit sons and
daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted
His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain
earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize
their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."
Not only do we learn that gender is eternal, but that we were not genderless in the preexistence. We were male and female
before we came to earth. Although God created gender, creating gender is
not the same as creating roles. These two concepts are separate and should not
be conflated together.
Unfortunately,
LDS culture and society society have been commingled with LDS doctrine
to such a degree that LDS practices are assumed to be LDS doctrine
despite no doctrinal foundation or justification for such beliefs and it
is now almost difficult to tease these two concepts apart because they
are so embedded in LDS thinking and behavior because people have mingled
these two things together as if they are LDS doctrine.
A
careful reading of the PoF and other sources does not and cannot
support that when God spiritually and physically created men and women,
He also created the roles that would accompany each gender. God merely
created gender, humans created most of the roles. Almost all gender
roles are arbitrary because they were created by society and culture
with the exception that men and women don't have
any gender roles until they are married and have children.
"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to
their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that
God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth
remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the
sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and
woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare
the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We
affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal
plan."
In
my reading of the PoF, we learn a few things. First, the first
commandment to get married is an obligation that falls equally on both
genders. The obligation must be fulfilled by men and women. It appears
from the PoF (as well as other scriptural sources) that the Lord’s doctrine that men and women are to
both be active players in finding a spouse.
Secondly, we also learn
there is something unique about the "First Commandment" that is
different from almost all the other commandments the Lord has given. In
order for the commandment to get married to be satisfied, it requires a
man and a woman to come together in marriage. In other words, it takes two people to obey this one commandment whereas almost all other commandments require each individual to obey them on their own. Men and women
are both needed to create a
marriage. A man can't be married unto himself and a woman can't do that either. Men and women need each other
to satisfy that obligation. That's why if you read the entire PoF,
there's no mention of gender roles when it comes to dating. It isn't a
man's job to find a spouse and it isn't a woman's job to find a spouse.
Its an equal obligation.
Additionally,
we learn that God actually gave two distinct and separate commandments
to men and women instead of one. If you read the PoF carefully and read
the scriptures carefully, you realize that men and women must satisfy the "First
Commandment" (marriage) to satisfy the "Second Commandment" (be
fruitful and multiply/procreate). In other words, God intended that men
and women must be husband and wife before (condition precedent) they
can be fathers and mothers. This concept is affirmed in the passage
below:
"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for
each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the
Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children
in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual
needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the
commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.
Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before
God for the discharge of these obligations.
The family
is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His
eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of
matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital
vows with complete fidelity."
From
the paragraph above we learn that men and woman as husband and wives
are both under the same obligation to have children. Again, the
commandment to have children is another one of those rare instances
where it takes two people (men and women) to obey a single
commandment. It is an obligation that both men and women are equally
required to obey although women carry the heavier burden than men do in
this instance.
It is worth pointing out that men and women can become mothers and fathers without having to be husband and wife. Thus, the PoF recognizes that "
Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers" will "be held accountable
before
God for the discharge of these obligations" of rearing "their children
in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual
needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the
commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."
Thus, even if you haven't satisfied the first commandment of getting
married, you are still under the commandment as fathers and mothers to
raise and provide for their children.
We
also learned that children are "entitled" to having parents. This is
the first and only time in the PoF where any "right" is mentioned.
Finally,
we learn that marriage is essential to God's plan for His Children.
Children can only be created within the confines or parameters of
marriage so that they can relocate from the preexistence to earth and
arrive in a safe and healthy environment for them to begin their life on
earth.
So
far, we haven't seen any gender roles described or proscribed to men
and women. We have only seen that gender is eternal, that both genders
must be married before they can be parents. That's what the PoF teaches
so far.
But
if you read the PoF carefully, you will find that there the gender
roles for both men and woman are very simple and there is only one role
for men and women.
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love
and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life
and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible
for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities,
fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual
adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed."
In
the way I read the LDS Church's Proclamation on the Family, there is on
only one
gender role that men and women each have. For men, "fathers are to
preside
over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to
provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." For
women, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their
children." We also learn that men and women are to help each other in
the one roles
that each gender has. Men and women are to assist each other in these
roles as equal partners.
I don't see any other assigned gender role for men and women in the PoF. That's all there is.
If
you notice, there is no gender roles when it comes to house hold
chores, dating, employment, church callings. Its not there. Also notice
that the gender roles for men and women aren't trigged until they have
been (1) married and (2) have children. Gender roles don't happen until
both requirements are satisfied. That means that according to the PoF,
there are no gender roles for men and women prior to marriage. It also
implies that there are no gender roles for married couples either. Only
when they have children do the the simple gender roles assigned to men
and women kick in.
The
Proclamation on the Family (PoF) doesn't mention the gender roles and
the Priesthood either. (an omission I find fascinating). You would have
to look else where for why women can't or shouldn't (or why they can or
should) hold the Priesthood (an argument I am intentionally avoiding
here). But if you are looking strictly at the PoF, it does seem to imply
that the unmarried women (or women with full-grown children) could
hold the priesthood. However, you are free to have that debate in the
comments section of this article although I encourage (and prefer) you
talk about gender roles in the Church.
That,
dear readers, is how came to the idea that the only gender role men and
women have according to the Proclamation. These roles are only
triggered upon the event of lawful marriage and procreation of children
within that marriage. Men and women simly don't have any gender roles
until they are married and have children. Society through various means
get boys and girls to do certain things in preparation as husband and
wives and mother and fathers. However, they should not be assumed that
they are the inherent and permanent gender roles for men and women.
Women and men like to do certain things but again, these things should
not be conflated with actual gender roles of women. They are merely
preferences.
Biology
and genetics are the only natural limitations on men and women.
However, again, they are not to be conflated with gender roles. They are
merely to be understood as natural and normal physical limitations just
as being Deaf or blind are natural physical limitations. Sometimes my
Deafness will naturally limit me to doing certain things and other times
it won't. Or I can get around these physical barriers through
technology and/or pure determination.
I
understand that for some people, they may find my interpretation of the
PoF to be patriarchal. I don't think it is and it was never intended to
be that way. It was simply to challenge the current understanding of
gender roles and to present a novel and unique way of understanding
gender roles as outlined in the PoF.
To me, I find the PoF to be traditional/conservative and progressive at the same time. LDS Doctrines can be viewed as being the most liberal theology in the world and it applies here on the issue of gender roles.
The gender roles as I read in the PoF are realistic
and simple. The only gender roles men and women have occur only in
marriage and it only relates to the raising of children in the home.
That's it. That means all other gender roles are not eternal, doctrinal
or important or essential. Anything outside of that is rather subjective and arbitrary which are based on unsound justifications.
I think that's fairly liberating for both men and women because it escapes the inherent
double
standards and double binds that men and women place on one other and
amongst each other (as in internal and external pressures) while having a
more simpler (and less stifling) roles for both men and women.
To
me it implies that God is only concerned with the eternal truths and
obligations that transcend time, geography, culture, tradition and
society and that at the end of the day, we find the truth to be simple
in its concept and execution. Only humans can muck up a concept so
simple and elegant.
It
was humans who added unnecessary layers of complexity onto a simple
doctrine through media, entertainment, culture, society, tradition,
history and (yes) religion. Also, we have made unwarranted connections,
assumptions and leaps in logic about gender roles merely because a
person does "A" it necessarily follows that they do "X, Y, or Z."
But
at the same time, humans created these additional roles because of
survival or because it was practical or because it saved time and
energy. There was some need for it,
for some reason, in the past that was useful for men and women. Many of
these roles weren't done to oppress but out of some necessity. However, some roles eventually became a tool for oppression. Finally, we
can’t assume that all past social practice is beneficial in the future.
It is good for society and in the Church to reevaluate these things
from time to time.
This
brings me to the current discussion on gender roles. The additional
gender roles that humans have placed on top of the one, single, assigned
role for men and women as outlined in the PoF, can be stifling and
choking at times. There are lots of things that men and women have to do
because they are culturally or societally or religiously induced rigid
expectations. Women aren't the only ones who have issues with gender
roles. Men do too. Both have men and women legitimate complaints about the roles and duties the Church places on us and whether or not they are equal.
But
there is one scriptural passage that I gives me hope for both men and
women with regards to gender roles in the future. The prophet Isaiah
explained that during the millennial reign of Christ, the roles and
behaviors of animals will radically change:
“The wolf
also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the
kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a
little child shall lead them.
“And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
“And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den.
“They
shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall
be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.” (Isa. 11:6–9.)
If
the natural behaviors and roles of animals (predator and prey) can be
radically changed, there is a strong but subtle implication that the
behavior of humans beings will radically change as well. I don't think
that the roles that men and women have within the parameters of a lawful
marriage and procreation of children within that marriage will change. I
think that the behaviors of men and women will change which will affect
how the genders interact with one another.
I hope this article was enlightening as well as entertaining and thought provoking.
I look forward to hearing your insights and ideas on this subject in the comments section.
